From the GG Report: New Year, New You

From the GG Report: New Year, New You

Gossip Girl XOXO, Staff Writer

Gossip Girl here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of CdM’s very own elite. What a fine time, it’s such a bright time, especially with all of your beautiful faces lighting up my laptop screen!

As we close out 2020 – which, let’s face it, will probably eventually be a term that denotes “the year when pigs flew and we experienced the collapse of both the hospital and postal systems here in America the beautiful” – I think it’s time to reflect on what we want to bring to 2021, and what we want to leave behind. After all, a little self-reflection, inward-gazing, oh-so-grounding meditation never hurt anyone!

What we should keep up (the list is, I fear, rather short)

I think we can all agree that we have demonstrated an admirable amount of, shall we call it, robust defiance? Resilience? Whatever it is, we displayed plenty of it as we shouldered the highest amount of Covid cases and deaths in the world, the worst economic depression since, well, the Great Depression, and the lovely thing that we know as hybrid school (see my November report for more details!) After all, we can’t let this pandemic control our lives! (Except for the fact that unfortunately, it is controlling our lives.) Most importantly, keep the toilet paper. You never know.

What we should discard as we head into this holy, blessed, long-awaited new year (slightly longer list)

Do the world a favor and discard quarantine impulse purchases that include, but are not limited to: sweatpants that look like they could fit Santa, gigantic padded headbands that were intended to make you look like you tried on Zoom, but really just ended up making you look like your head really, really hurt, all the Proust books that were purchased during the two-hour phase wherein you experienced the desire to be “cultured and intellectual”, those workout clothes that were purchased after a guilty two days of eating chips and nothing else, and all. That. Yarn. Sorry, but not even my great-great grandmother, may she rest in heaven, would ever buy your knitwear. (As our favorite junior Makar Briggs would say, “you’re not cute.”) Furthermore, discard all the sourdough starter attempts, give the beans to Feeding America, realize that you won’t write the next Great American novel (or, for that matter, the next folklore), and, please, shave your legs.

Ah, fresh starts! If you need me, I’ll be drinking champagne on my rooftop in my Louboutins until the ball drops!

And who am I? Now that’s a secret that I’ll never tell.

You know you love me.


Gossip Girl